My cat has a bad attitude

This is George sleeping on his face.

I am extraordinarily fond of cats. Like to the point where if I were not married, it would probably be considered unhealthy. I only have one right now out of sheer willpower and restraint (and b/c Mike would kill me if I brought home another cat, he's a dog person if you can imagine that). But I would like to trade in the one I have for a better one. George is 14 lbs and kind of squirrelly looking. His head is shaped like a triangle and he's orange. Boy howdy, orange cats think they are something else. Everyday I come home and he's sitting on the porch yelling at me. It's that kind of high pitched whine that translates to "where have you been all day." Like he doesn't remember from day to day that if he doesn't come in when I go to work in the morning that he will probably have to stay outside all day. I showed him where we hide the key, but he has yet to use it. 

soooo Lazy. 

So anyway, this happens everyday and everyday I say "George, stop yelling at me! You're only a little kitty." Where as he gives me that "look" and goes straight for his food bowl. If the food has been in there too long, he won't eat it. He only likes fresh food- fresh food and dirty water- he loves to drink out of mud puddles. He started this after I got him one of those cat water dishes that keep the water cool and running constantly. Then, after he eats, and bitches for a while, he wants me to pick him up and carry him around the house like he is a baby. I can't put him down until he's ready or he will claw me. Plus he likes to sit on my lap when I pee. It's weird. He lays on his back, but won't let you touch his belly. And he acts like he's tough, but the only thing he ever kills are baby animals. I've yet to see him bring us anything that weighs more then 2 lbs. He won't poop outside. He waits for me to change the litter and then hops on in. 

Hanging out with Mike. 

I feed him, clean his litter box, buy his treats and toys, pick him up, love him and brush him. Mike pushes him around and generally shows him disdain. And who does he love more- I'll let you figure that out. 

I tried to give him away on Craiglist once, I even said I would pay someone to take him to no avail.  Mike and I went to scope out dumpsters as a new home for him one time, but we just couldn't do it. I guess we're stuck with him. For now. 

If you have an awesome cat and would like to make a trade, hit me up. 

PS: I am just kidding. I love my cat. Really. I do.