The Good Wife's Guide...

This is crazy... 

1. Have dinner ready

Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal on time. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him, and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospects of a good meal are part of the warm welcome needed.

2. Prepare yourself

Take 15 minutes to rest so you will be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work- weary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting. His boring day may need a lift.

3. Clear away the clutter

Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives, gathering up school books, toys, paper, etc. Then run a dust cloth over the tables. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift, too.

4. Prepare the children

Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces if they are small, comb their hair, and if necessary, change their clothes.They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part.

5. Minimize the noise

At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of washer, dryer, dishwasher or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet. Be happy to see him. Greet him with a warm smile and be glad to see him.

6. Things to avoid

Don't greet him with problems or complaints. Don't complain if he's late for dinner. Count this as minor compared with what he might have gone through that day.

7. Make him comfortable

Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or suggest he lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soft, soothing and pleasant voice. Allow him to relax and unwind.

8. Listen to him 

You may have a dozen things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first.

9. Make the evening his:

Never complain if he does not take you out to dinner or to other places of entertainment; instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure, his need to be home and relax.


10. Try to make your home a place of peace and order where your husband can relax.

Getting Told off by a Complete Stranger is Confusing

This is the house we want to rent. Super cute, huh? 

(all names in this story have been changed for anonymity. Actually, all names are real, except one) 

So, Mike and I have decided to move from our little, itty, bitty house to a bigger house. We moved into our current rental when we first moved to NJ nearly 2 years ago. Our plan was to sell our house in GA and buy here. We even got a Realtor and started looking for houses. That was last fall. This fall, Mike and I have decided to move into a more permanent rental house- one that we can live in for 3-5 years and is not so itty bitty. The market has to pick up in that amount of time, right? Our house in GA is rented and we hope that we can maintain the status quo for now. 

So, I called Toni, the nice lady who helped us dumb kids last year even though she probably knew that there wasn't a snowballs chance in hell that our house in Savannah would sell at the time. We asked her to help us find a rental... but not before I called a couple of contacts that I had seen myself. (Mind you, I don't know anything about how Realtors work, or get paid, nor do I really care;  I just need help finding something livable, in our price range, that will accommodate my lovely kitty, has a yard, two floors, central air, no nosy neighbors, a clean kitchen and bathroom, etc., etc., etc...) 

"Wanda"
 (this is really her, I'm not trying to be funny).

I digress. I guess the crux of the issue is that I made contact with the "contact for information" person myself and not through Toni. Big mistake, apparently, because when she- we'll call her "Wanda"- called me back and I told her that I was working with another Realtor she BLEW her top on me. She literally told me off for calling her directly and told me that she hardly makes "$5" on a rental commission... I was really scared that she was going to block me even trying to look at this house. I pretended the phone was cutting out and hung up before I started screaming back! I could not believe that someone that calls themselves a professional - I found out that she is a board member on the South Jersey Board of Realtors (or some professional organization like that)- would start screaming at me over the phone about how I messed up her commission by bringing my own Realtor in on the deal. 

I understand, now, how rental commissions work and yes, I'm sorry that Wanda will have to split her pittance with Toni, but I was shocked that someone that I didn't know would speak to me that way, period. It's one thing to get told off by a friend or family member (happens to me all the time), it's a completely different thing to get told off over the phone by a complete stranger! I was pretty jazzed up afterwards to say the least. All I can say is that I never experienced anything like it in any other state... could it be that famous Jersey 'tude that I was warned about before I moved here? I can only guess. 

Wish me luck. We are seeing the house- with Wanda and Toni- on Saturday. 

My cat has a bad attitude

This is George sleeping on his face.

I am extraordinarily fond of cats. Like to the point where if I were not married, it would probably be considered unhealthy. I only have one right now out of sheer willpower and restraint (and b/c Mike would kill me if I brought home another cat, he's a dog person if you can imagine that). But I would like to trade in the one I have for a better one. George is 14 lbs and kind of squirrelly looking. His head is shaped like a triangle and he's orange. Boy howdy, orange cats think they are something else. Everyday I come home and he's sitting on the porch yelling at me. It's that kind of high pitched whine that translates to "where have you been all day." Like he doesn't remember from day to day that if he doesn't come in when I go to work in the morning that he will probably have to stay outside all day. I showed him where we hide the key, but he has yet to use it. 

soooo Lazy. 

So anyway, this happens everyday and everyday I say "George, stop yelling at me! You're only a little kitty." Where as he gives me that "look" and goes straight for his food bowl. If the food has been in there too long, he won't eat it. He only likes fresh food- fresh food and dirty water- he loves to drink out of mud puddles. He started this after I got him one of those cat water dishes that keep the water cool and running constantly. Then, after he eats, and bitches for a while, he wants me to pick him up and carry him around the house like he is a baby. I can't put him down until he's ready or he will claw me. Plus he likes to sit on my lap when I pee. It's weird. He lays on his back, but won't let you touch his belly. And he acts like he's tough, but the only thing he ever kills are baby animals. I've yet to see him bring us anything that weighs more then 2 lbs. He won't poop outside. He waits for me to change the litter and then hops on in. 

Hanging out with Mike. 

I feed him, clean his litter box, buy his treats and toys, pick him up, love him and brush him. Mike pushes him around and generally shows him disdain. And who does he love more- I'll let you figure that out. 

I tried to give him away on Craiglist once, I even said I would pay someone to take him to no avail.  Mike and I went to scope out dumpsters as a new home for him one time, but we just couldn't do it. I guess we're stuck with him. For now. 

If you have an awesome cat and would like to make a trade, hit me up. 

PS: I am just kidding. I love my cat. Really. I do. 

How Interwoven is interwoven into my personal history...

As a young kid with my mother and grandmother,  I used to shop at the Blue Ridge Outlet Center in Martinsburg, West Virginia. As a teenage I worked there. The Outlet was not just a mall.  It consisted of three- (later four) abandoned textile mills that had been restored. I would run up and down the hardwood floor halls, look up at the exposed steel beams and wonder in awe at the space layout. I just loved to hang out there. While the Outlet was in our community, it brought people from all over the area. The local economy was stimulated; the downtown area was booming. I marveled at this environment and wondered how a shopping mall could be so cool and do so much good for blocks and blocks around it. I learned much later in life that this type of restoration of a historic property was called adaptive reuse and it happens all over the country. 

In the late 1990s, when a national chain of outlet centers, Prime Outlets,  built a new mall twenty miles north of Martinsburg (closer to the DC Metro area) the Blue Ridge Outlet Center closed for business.

The controversy surrounding that deal is a topic for another post! 

But, obviously, this wasn't the first time that these buildings had sat empty. Originally, the large, well built, brick buildings were part of the expansion of Interwoven Mills, a Philadelphia based maker of men's hosiery (if you can believe that)! From the 1920s to the closure of the factory in 1979, Interwoven was one of the largest employers in the city. The company survived the great depression, WWII, two national worker labor strikes and Vietnam, but couldn't survive the changing times - men's hosiery, for god's sake! So from the late 70s into the 80s the city of Martinsburg wondered how to revitalize their downtown until this rich dude, Chatfield Taylor (how could I ever forget that name), had a dollar (or a few million) and a dream and turned these HUGE abandoned buildings into what would eventually turn me into an historic preservation nut!

Today the buildings, I believe for the most part, have been adapted yet again to house the Berkeley County Judicial Center and other County offices.

The point? Large anchor buildings in our small cities and towns can make or break a downtown. If these once vibrant, bustling buildings are allowed to sit abandoned, everything around them crumbles. The history of the Interwoven Mills is one that I find great inspiration in and I just wanted to share it's story.